Investor surprised

A question was asked to an Investor ‘Sir.. is my product so bad.. am not getting any investors for this’

The investor smiled and said ‘The product comes secondary.. your profile reports are available with many’

Entrepreneur ‘I do shared deck with so many folks’

Investor ‘no dear.. your behavior analytic report being shared to us’

Entrepreneur ‘but as per GDPR, my private information cannot be shared’

Investor ‘what is that? I never heard of it’

Solutioning

Rose is an ace technology architect and she specializes in middleware solutions..
One day Joseph her college mate meets her in conference. He is Mathematics professor in college..

Joseph ‘you look the same.. beautiful’
Rose ‘thanks.. how are you?’

Joseph ‘mathematics and calculus and integration and so on’

Rose ‘cool.. I am a solutions architect’

Joseph ‘wow..’

Rose ‘married?’

Joseph ‘single.. and happy.. what about you?’

Rose ‘my boy friend is in London.. so distance love’

Joseph ‘mathematics is all about binding elements and either filtering or aggregating the data’

Rose ‘means’

Joseph ‘it means that you decide in life whom you wish to be.. and choose friends, beloved by filtering and then you decide the professional contacts, friends and even casual friends and connect them in Linked In and Facebook.. Mathematics is most important aspect in providing solutions to problems’

Rose ‘not sure.. i was weak in maths.. you too know that’

Joseph ‘yes.. hence reminded you dear… and do you know what’

Rose ‘I know you used to flirt with me by sending me maths puzzles of relationship… like giving me 20 roses and asking me how many petals would you return back to me as love’

Joseph blushes

Rose ‘you never changed.. same type’

Joseph ‘how are you providing solutions without maths?’

Rose ‘these days we pick up components, integrate and important to choose components’

Joseph ‘what about latency, speed, communication?’

Rose ‘feature lists available dear in google’

Joseph ‘hence you chose that guy and ignored me.. may be I detail things out too much’

Rose ‘yes Joseph.. each topic of conversation would get converted to maths.. an equation’

Joseph ‘what equation you have with me?’

Rose ‘Joseph + Rose = Disaster’

Joseph ‘Incorrect’

Joseph ‘Joseph + Rose = Rose + Joseph’

Joseph ‘Relation equations are tough to understand. They keep dynamically changing.. hence the numerators and denominators play an important role..

Joseph ‘to strengthen relation.. an infinity is needed and to weaken a relation just a zero’

Rose is silent

Joseph ‘what is the use of distance relation if communication gaps exist, speed is unknown, consistency unknown, reliability unknown..’

Rose has drops of tears as she remembers her argument with her London boy friend

Joseph hugs Rose

Joseph ‘Solution Providers need to understand details of architect.. the maths behind a solution.. everything will go well’

Rose ‘Joseph.. you were always brilliant.. but I never found you romantic’

Joseph ‘romance is all about positive vibes moving between two objects.. it leads to factorial increase in love’

Joseph ‘a big rose to you.. accept me now’

Rose ‘what else do you do?’

Joseph ‘I am initiating a data analytic startup too.. cheers’

Rose ‘Am sure you will do well’

Joseph ‘will you be with me ?’

Rose ‘let me think over it…’

Joseph ‘if any relation goes bad.. mend it or break it.. nothing between.. digital technology works only on 0 or 1’

Rose begins laughing ‘you are again back to maths’

Big Data Guru

Molly was a rolly polly guy who claimed to be a big data expert.

He initiated a meetup and had around 50 participants visiting him..

Molly ‘What is big data?’

All ‘Anything which is NO-SQL too’

Molly ‘Dear boys.. look at me.. Am BIG DATA.. Loads of items inside me.. blood, veins, arteries, muscle, intestine.. and all data flowing in structured way..
We know what heart does every day – it beats…
But for whom does it beat?

All look at each and begin laughing…

Molly ‘I need someone intelligent to know who is helping my heart beat… Some report… That is machine learning… we need artificial intelligence to bring in’

All are reeling in laughter…

One participant whispers ‘Is he nuts?’

Molly ‘Tell me what is so NO SQL (NO STRUCTURE QUERY LANGUAGE HERE?’

Participants silent

Molly ‘What did you do entire day?’

One of the participant ‘I came to this class’

Molly asks all.. and all begin telling their stories..

Molly ‘All stories which are not logged in structured way need to be analyzed.. and here huge volumes come in… so that is big data for you…

Molly ‘Hadoop, Cassandra and so on..’

One participant is sweating

Molly looks at sweat

Molly ‘If we need to search for photos of individuals who are sweating in class.. we need to search for images..’ here SOLR comes in

Molly ‘Why am i telling you all this?’

Participant ‘because you are big data guru’

Molly ‘Because today every entrepreneur needs to get to some big data or analytic project.. hence’

Molly ‘hope this session fruitful’

All participants look at each other

Molly ‘if a project is too big.. break into small sub project and execute.. Read data, Analyze data and only then get to big data project as you need to be clear what you wish to get out of data’

GARBAGE IN… GARBAGE OUT